Ten years, three friends, and one very good sponge cake

When Margaret, Pam and Ruth arrived at Shona McFarlane Village within days of each other 10 years ago, none of them realised they’d just met their new friends-for-life.

It all began with cake. Margaret remembers a market day where Ruth had bought a large sponge cake and invited neighbours in for morning tea.

“That’s how I met Ruth,” she says. “She was generous enough to feed us all.”

Pam’s introduction was slightly different.

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“I used to walk past Margaret’s place every day, and my cat followed me like a little dog,” Pam laughs. “I don’t know whether the cat went in first or me.”

From those early days of morning teas, passing chats, and exercise classes a beautiful friendship began to blossom.

These days, Saturdays in the village café are the weekly highlight. At 12.30pm, Pam arrives by car, Ruth heads out to meet her, and the pair settle into the café. Margaret often joins them later, sometimes coming and going, perhaps returning with another friend in tow.

What starts as lunch can stretch for hours, as the conversation and laughter carries on, and other friends join them at their table.

“It’s amazing the fun we’ve had,” Ruth says. “We’ve had a lot of laughs.”

For Margaret, now living in the care centre, those Saturdays are especially important.
“It helps me keep up with what’s going on in the whole place,” she says.

From left: Pam Findlay, Ruth Andrew and Margaret Smith celebrate 10 years of friendship at Shona McFarlane Village - with cake of course!

The ladies are never short of something to talk about, be it village life, shared memories, or the kind of gentle observations only good friends can make. Underpinning it all is their shared sense of humour.

Over 10 years, a wealth of stories have been collected to call upon to marvel or giggle at. There was the time Margaret offered to buy fish and chips for everyone - Pam and Ruth noted her generosity and the ease with which she made it happen, appreciating the gesture.

Then there was the party where a neighbour accidentally locked herself in her garage and missed the entire evening.

“We saved her,” Pam says. “But she was a bit late for the party.”

Even everyday mishaps become stories. A recent café trip saw Ruth locked out of the car while Pam found herself stuck inside, leading to a frantic search for the right key.

“It was a real circus,” Pam says.

“We still got there,” Ruth adds.

Friends, family and Village Manager Megan Gouverneur (standing) celebrate with the three ladies, Pam, Ruth and Margaret in their favourite gathering place - the village cafe. 

There’s more to their connection than funny stories however. Over the years, the three women have experienced change, loss, evolving health needs, and the natural slower pace of life. Yet their friendship has remained a constant.

“We’re a bit slower getting there,” Pam says. “But the relationship hasn’t changed.”

They all agree that there’s an ease between them, evidence of a level of trust that allows them to speak openly and look out for one another.

“We don’t talk nasty,” Ruth says. “We’re more concerned about people than anything.”

They’ve also built connections beyond their trio, meeting others through café lunches, Rummikub, and village life. But at the centre of it all are Margaret, Pam and Ruth, continuing to enjoy each other’s company.

Ten years on, their story is a reminder that it’s often the simplest things - a shared meal, a regular routine, a willingness to check in - that add up to create a rich tapestry of friendship and connection - and the validation that comes with that.

As Margaret puts it:

“Enjoyable… and very good company.”

And for them, that’s been more than enough.